Monday 25 February 2013

Babyhuddle Guest Post.

Posted by Unknown at 07:30:00 0 comments

I was asked to write a guest post about my New Years parenting resolution, take feedback and advice from readers and then report back two weeks later with an update of how it was going. You can read it here or see the original post with the advice comments on Babyhuddle.

My parenting resolution: To relax!

I never really make New Years resolutions and I haven't really this year, I just know what I need to do to enjoy being a mummy of TWO! Since having Logan it really has surprised me how difficult it is just to do the small things, making breakfast, putting the kettle on, even going to the toilet! I simply can't trust Connor not to try and lift Logan out of his chair or not to try and feed him something whilst I leave the room even for a second! (He is only trying to help, he just doesn't understand.) This means that every moment of the day needs to be pre-determined.

I like to keep the house tidy, as I tidy as I can at least, and whilst I was still pregnant I was able to potter about during the day and get my jobs done at times when Connor was amusing himself playing or napping, however now Logan is here I can't seem to get anything done! I tried to prepare myself for the exhaustion that I knew came with a newborn baby, breast feeding on demand is hard work, I'd experienced it with Connor, but it has honestly surprised me how much having two under two takes it out of you! (Not that I would swap either of them for the world, they're both absolutely perfect.)

How am I going to achieve my goal? I need to realise that having two babies, I know Connor can walk and so is technically a toddler, is a big job, especially whilst I'm still feeding Logan myself, everything has doubled, two feeds, two bums to change, two baths etc... all over night, and no matter how much i tried to tell myself what it would be like and to prepare myself for what was about to happen I dont think anything could of! I need to concentrate on getting us into a routine I can cope with before I start setting myself extra tasks that I am going to get angry with myself for not achieving when I simply just don't have the time, or the energy for that matter! I also think that accepting the help that is offered to me will really help, we have a really big family and plenty of people would love to take or watch one, or both of the boys for me while I get things done or even just take a break! I need to start taking advantage of offers that friends and family make me, they want to help!

So this is where my resolution, that's really more of a challenge, comes into it... I need to relax, that doesn't mean I'll be so chilled out that the boys will be going without, the relaxing will be in my head! I think the only way I can be a happy mum of two, at the same time as keeping part of my sanity, is to realise that the house might not be tidy, there might be clothes in the washing basket and pots in the sink, and yes, the lounge is covered in toys (I have a one year old!) but that's ok because me and my boys are having fun and enjoying each other, and whilst that's happening housework can wait another hour or two!

So that's my plan, to enjoy my children, they're growing up too fast and I don't intend on missing a moment of it!

How I Got On...

First of all I would just like to say a big thank you to everyone who had advice for me on how I can become less stressed at the state of the house and just enjoy the babies, it was very much appreciated and it's nice to know I'm not alone and others have been through the same experience, one of the main things I have taken from out of this is hearing that it does get easier!

A piece of advice offered to me was to get into a good routine, this is a hard one for as my other half, and I when I go back to work, work shifts, our days/hours of work change each week, this also means that when the boys will stay with my mum will change each week too. I have tried to incorporate some sort of routine into our days, especially when it comes to meal times and bath time, this links into another piece of advice, timing nap times together. This has been quite successful for me and a massive help! Even if I only get the boys asleep at the same time once each day it gives me just a little bit of downtime, either to catch up with a few small jobs I have fallen behind on or just to take some time out for myself, even if I do nothing at all.

When my partner is in I have enlisted him into helping with bath and bedtime, and when he's not in my sister often comes to help after she finishes school, she will watch the boys so I can make tea, run baths and prepare the boys' fresh clothes ready for bed. Having extra help and the busy times during the day just gives me a little boost in my confidence and I am now happy to take on bathing two boys solo knowing that the help is there if I need it.

When it comes to ignoring the housework, this is definitely the biggest challenge, I find it hard to relax in a room where things, especially small toys, are strewn across the floor and the place is just messy in general. But taking the advice of the "out of sight, out of mind method" did help, I have moved all they toys, and there is a lot of them, up to the far end of the lounge, behind the sofa, they are still easily accessible for Connor but out of my way, now I tend to just give the place a quick general tidy when he has fallen asleep, that way I am not constantly picking things up throughout the day, giving me more time to play with him.

Being a younger mum does mean that not many of my friends have children so talking to other mums is a hard one for me, however I have enrolled Connor into a weekly parent and toddler group and have started meeting other mums of children the same age and finding we do have things in common, it's also nice to socialise a bit more and just get out of the house.

The last piece of advice I have taken on board, probably more than any other is, to look to the future! Hopefully as the boys grow up so close in age they will have a really close bond, and seeing them so happy together will be worth all the stress now. Although it is tough now the fact that a lot of milestones will be reached around the same time with both of them will make things easier in the long run giving me more time to enjoy them growing up.

I have taken as much advice as I can and have made a real effort to incorporate it into our lives, and although it has only been two weeks I really feel it has helped me have time to relax a lot more and let go of the things that don't really matter and just live each day as it comes and enjoy being a mummy to my two, very special little boys, under two!

 

 

Sunday 24 February 2013

Connor's Baby.

Posted by Unknown at 15:33:00 3 comments

When we decided to have another baby it was because we knew we wanted two babies close in age. Of course I had my concerns as to how Connor would react to no longer being the only baby and having to share the attention that previously was all on him. I am so proud of how grown up he is, he really loves being a big brother, obviously he doesn't fully understand his role yet but it's like it comes as naturally to him as it does to me to just love Logan.

He can get carried away, he is just so boisterous and fearless, sometimes he gets so excited he starts to flap his arms up and down just a little to close for comfort. Because I'm feeding Logan myself he is on me a lot of the time, but Connor seems to understand and accept that sometimes Logan needs me when he only wants me so he will place himself next to me and snuggle as close as he can get, he will hold onto Logan's hand or foot and just hold them with a huge grin on his face muttering the word "baby". And it's at these moments that I realise all the stress of having two under two, and there is a lot of it, is worth it for the bond my boys have, a bond that will hopefully grow closer the older they get. So in the end we didn't have another baby just for us we had Logan for Connor too, his very own baby!

 

 

 

Sunday 17 February 2013

Tiger Stripes.

Posted by Unknown at 10:00:00 2 comments

Having two babies on the bounce does not do your body any favours. I am covered in stretch marks, from my back round my belly, they got everywhere! In fact calling it a belly isn't even one hundred percent truthful, a pouch would be a more accurate description at the moment.

All joking aside, a post baby body isn't the most attractive and it really does knock your self esteem, big knickers have become my best friend and my big knockers my enemy, choosing to breastfeed leads on to needing nursing bras, no problem right? Wrong! I find it hard enough to find normal bras that fit me without having to spend a small fortune, and there is close to no support in a nursing bra, so when I wear one I may as well not be, they become basically a glorified way of keeping my breast pads on to save my clothes from a drowning!

All the experts talk about "accepting your post baby body" but that's easier said than done. Everybody wants the glow that is supposed to come with a baby but that doesn't happen for everyone and I certainly didn't "snap" back into shape after having Connor let alone after Logan. Having a baby changed me in every way, mentally and physically and getting my head around how my appearance has changed is hard work and yes my boys are worth it, but it doesn't stop me looking through old photos of myself sometimes and wondering if I'll ever look like that again.

There is another way to look at it though, all my stretch marks tell a story, my belly grew as my babies grew and those scars are my souvenirs, my war wounds if you like, one for each time they grew an inch or rolled over. I'm a tiger who, like so many others, earned her stripes!

 

Thursday 14 February 2013

Saint Valentines Day.

Posted by Unknown at 15:01:00 0 comments

What do you do on what's supposed to be the most romantic day of the year when you have two babies? Well me and Dane don't exactly go all out on V day anyway but we would usually sit down for a nice meal or something, given that we are both off work of course. But this year it will be a meal for four, well three, with some breast milk thrown in for good measure!

I do think it is important to make time for ourselves as a couple now that we have the boys. Having babies does put a strain on any relationship, no matter how much you love each other it is still hard work to bring up a family, and anyone who has a baby thinking it will fix a relationship is sadly mistaken, from my point of view, having a baby can break the strongest of couples, you have to work at it and if you're lucky it will make you stronger in the long run, like a test!

That said I don't think we need a day to remind us to think of each other or remember how much we love each other, we just know! And the proof is out there for all to see, the boys! They are the evidence of how much we love one another, they are the biggest show of commitment we could have.

The love you have for your baby is the kind that you won't believe exists before you have one, people say how amazing it is and like nothing ever felt before and it's true! It's a mix of pure unconditional love and a feeling of knowing you would do anything for that little person no matter who or what they become, it's a love that you just know will last forever. The love I feel for Connor and Logan is different to anything I've ever felt. When I was pregnant with Logan there was always that worry wether I could love him as much as I do Connor or wether they would have to share, like I had a limited amount to give and Connor was taking it all up, but thats not how it works, my love didn't halve it doubled! I didn't know it was possible to love so much but they made it so. And this brought a new surge of love for Dane, he had given them to me, a forever bond to the man I love with all my heart, no matter what he will always be the father of my children the man I chose to start my family and share my life with, and he chose ME!

Happy Valentines Day!

 

 

 

Wednesday 13 February 2013

Tummy Time.

Posted by Unknown at 17:24:00 0 comments

Logan has been doing really well with his tummy time, he's getting stronger all the time and lifts his head up really well. When he is on his tum he wriggles around and is quite a mover for his seven weeks of age! It's also an opportunity for Connor to bond with his brother, I really encourage him to get involved when Logan is playing, and I think he enjoys the responsibility of helping him learn, I just have to watch he doesn't get too rough, one word you wouldn't use to describe Connor is delicate, although you can see how hard he is trying to be gentle when he's near him, excitement just takes over sometimes and the words shop, in, bull and china spring to mind!

 

 

Pancake Day.

Posted by Unknown at 00:27:00 0 comments

So I didn't know it was pancake day until this morning, here's what I threw together for us for our tea! Connor loved it, then again Connor loves pretty much anything edible! Little piggy was covered in melted Chocolate spread from his 'cakes and then sat licking his fingers! Yummmm! I think I'll make them more often as sweet treat for him, they are so easy. Even though mine were a bit on the thick side!

 

Sunday 10 February 2013

Lie-ins.

Posted by Unknown at 23:35:00 0 comments

Don't sound like much, but they meant enough to me today to dedicate a post to them!

I got my first one since having Logan today, and it was immense! Having two young children means I get a lot less sleep than I used to but it is true that you adjust, saying that after a while it does begin to catch up with me. It wasn't to bad when I just had Connor, I could sleep when he slept and I did take naps with him on a regular basis, but now when Logan sleeps its not very often Connor does at the same time, and when I do manage to get them off together I have other jobs to fill my time, meaning that my nap time has gone well and truly out of the window!

Anyway, today it was daddy's turn, when Connor woke up this morning him and Logan went with Dane, he gave them breakfast (milk for Logan obvs.) and I got our wonderful kingsize, family bed all to myself, I rolled into the middle and rolled onto my front, something that's very hard to do when, for the most part of the last two years, I have been either pregnant or curled around a sleeping/feeding baby! I then fell sound asleep and didn't wake till nearly lunchtime! I feel refreshed and recharged all thanks to that extra couple of hours of perfectly undisturbed sleep, so thank you to my lovely other half for making it happen! Goodnight!

 

Saturday 9 February 2013

Sleeping like a Baby.

Posted by Unknown at 16:28:00 0 comments
...Is right! Logan is such a good sleeper, at just seven weeks old, as long as he is clean and fed he sleeps like a dream! He is only waking up once a night, most nights and really seems to enjoy his sleeps, maybe it's because he knows I am tired enough looking after his big brother all day! I am so very proud of my amazing little boy!

It's Connor who is having trouble sleeping through the night at the moment, often it's down to teething, the poor thing must be in agony with those massive teeth at the back coming through. But even when he's not teething he wakes through the night, he just starts to cry hysterically? Has anyone else experienced this, it's only just started, I read it could be nightmares/terrors? He settles again after he wakes but doesn't seem to "sleep through" much anymore, and neither does his mummy!

 

Friday 8 February 2013

Headbanger.

Posted by Unknown at 12:08:00 3 comments
Connor is now sixteen months old and has a really good temperament, most of the time, he is really well behaved although a little mischievous, only what you would expect from a one year old little boy. But recently, over the past week or so he has started having tantrums, it tends to be when he is not allowed something or we take something off him, he will throw whatever is closest to him, get down onto all fours and start head butting the floor and he isn't gentle about it, his tantrums don't last long but they are very distressing to watch as a parent and also upsetting for Connor. He calms soon after he has started and continues as if it never happened!
Dealing with him is made harder as he is yet too young to understand what we are telling him, it seems all his frustration and anger is let out in one short burst and a couple of buts. I think his emotions just get bigger than he is and the only way for him to communicate how he feels to us is through these little fits. I'm hoping its just a phase and we haven't hit the "terrible twos" early.

If anyone has any experience or advice on this matter please leave a comment, I would really appreciate any help with these tantrums! You can also leave advice here.

Wednesday 6 February 2013

How?

Posted by Unknown at 11:13:00 2 comments

How did I get so lucky? I know how cliché it sounds but I am so happy with my little family. I have the love of my life and two beautiful little boys.

The older Connor gets the more he shows his affection towards Logan, he is genuinely excited that he is here and I love that! It's made even more special now that Logan is smiling back at Connor and they already seem to have a very close bond! I can't wait for them to grow up together because I know that they will only get closer and it feels amazing to know that they will always have each other.

As hard as it is sometimes and as stressed as I get I know deep down that I am so very lucky to have something so strong and special in my life. My boys are everything and nothing could ever change that.

 

 

Friday 1 February 2013

The Snowman.

Posted by Unknown at 20:18:00 0 comments
I know the snow has been gone for a little while now but I never got round to uploading the pictures of Connors' first snowman, he made it at Grandmas' house with his Uncle and Auntie. They all had loads of fun in the snow especially my creative little monster!






 

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